A “mature child” is easy to handle from an early age, and to his parents, he seems to be a solid and dependable person, but the person himself is fully aware of the very important things in the process of mental maturity. You may be growing up without experiencing it. I will explain the psychological risks lurking in the minds of “mature children”.
Is it a good thing to be “grown-up”? It is also important to be “selfish” to express your desires honestly
If he finds something he likes, he will play with it forever, and when he picks it up, he will cry. While they are absorbed in the things they love, they are reluctant to do the things they don’t like.
Adults get really tired when they are swayed by these children’s actions. You may think, “Isn’t my child too free?” or “Is he selfish?”On the other hand, some children never say what they want to eat when they go out to eat, and always put other people’s wishes first. Some children actually want to be taken out to play, but they don’t express their wishes and just keep quiet all the time.
Such a “mature child” may be praised as “a kind child who cares about his siblings” or “a solid person who listens well” and is often relied on. It’s a wonderful thing, but it’s possible that you’re growing up without being aware of your true feelings because you care too much about your surroundings.
In the minds of these grown-up children, certain messages may be imprinted from an early age. It is a “prohibition order” to “not be a child”.
A message in the subconscious of an adult-like child, “Don’t be childish”
A “prohibition order” is a message that lurks in the depths of the mind and prohibits thoughts and actions. From an early age, I lived in an environment where I couldn’t express my honest desires.
For example, I really want to be spoiled, but my parents are busy taking care of my siblings, so I can’t. I really want something, but I’m not in the mood to say it, so I’m patient. If you continue to endure it like this, you will be praised as “you are a good listener”, so you will be less likely to express your true feelings. In the course of repeating this process, they sometimes think, “I shouldn’t be selfish like other children,” and give up on expressing emotions from the beginning.
Influenced by prohibitions such as “You must not do XX,” young children decide how to live their lives in this way, which is called “infant decision.” Since this childhood decision is imprinted in the child’s subconscious, without realizing it, it takes root in the child’s mind as a set of values and habits of thought, and often remains as a “difficult to live.”
“Children’s decisions” can affect even adults and make life difficult
This “infant decision” has a great influence on the way of life in adolescence, adolescence, and even adulthood.
For example, when choosing a career path or deciding where to work, you may not be sure what you like or what you really want to do. You may choose a profession such as “I decided because I was hired”.
Such people may have lost sight of their “self” from an early age, and because of this, they may feel unfulfilled and unable to enjoy themselves from the bottom of their hearts. Of course, it is also possible to become aware of your true desires after becoming an adult and choose a way of life that suits you. However, if possible, it is better to express your honest feelings from an early age and have enough experience to enjoy what you want to do as much as possible, even if it is a little selfish, so that you can live your life more easily. I think that I will be able to go.
Thoughts such as “I need to be a little more mature” and “I can’t stay childish forever” grow naturally with age. People grow up differently depending on their home situation and living environment, and their thoughts on life are also different. However, every child has childlike selfish desires and a desire to be spoiled. By drawing out that feeling and warmly telling them, “It’s okay to be honest,” you may be able to live comfortably.
Even if it’s only for a limited amount of time. By all means, I hope that you will guide your child to live as he or she can, while drawing out the honest feelings of the child.