Relationship stress often arises from the inability to recognize differences in values. What I would like to recommend to people who tend to get tired of people is to hone their “skills of recognizing” their own and others’ sense of values. I will also explain the three points necessary for adjusting human relationships.
Is it easy for people to get tired because their values are different? Before you close your heart to human relationships…
Friends, partners, workplaces, communities, relatives, parents and children… There are many relationships around us, and as many relationships as there are stresses.
For example, if someone warns you in a rough tone, many people may feel uncomfortable asking, “Why do you have to say something like that?” You may think that you shouldn’t open your heart to people.
However, there are many things that you have to go out with people who are not compatible. In order to get along well with others, it is necessary to polish some “techniques”.
In order to ease myself, who tends to get tired of people, it is necessary to improve my communication skills .
When you feel uncomfortable with someone else’s behavior, instead of denying that person’s way of thinking or acting, understand the difference between your own values and those of others, and acknowledge that some people are walking in ways that don’t suit you. That’s it.
If someone doesn’t fit your style of behavior, you may find yourself wondering, “Why would he do that?” However, it may be natural for that person to do it without any doubts. In the same way, behavior that is natural to you may be difficult for others to accept.
The first step is to accept that you and others have different values, which can sometimes make each other uncomfortable. Then, I think that I can make myself a little easier because I tend to get tired easily.
Three techniques necessary for adjusting human relationships: Negotiating, consulting, and keeping a distance
If you feel stressed by the difference in values between yourself and others, adjust your relationships in 3 waysThere are various things behind the creation of people’s values, such as upbringing, the environment in which they were raised, the education they received, the friends they interact with, and the living environment. I think it’s very important to recognize that different backgrounds can lead to different behavior choices.
However, “acknowledging” and “accepting” differences are not necessarily the same thing . If you can accept the values of others, but you can’t accept them, there are three points to consider when interacting with them:
The first is to negotiate . First, acknowledge other people’s behavior by saying, “Maybe it’s natural for you to do it that way.” Then explain what you find unacceptable by saying, “But I find this part unacceptable.” Then, through discussion, we will seek compromises that both parties can agree on. The second is to consult . The first “negotiation” requires courage. If you feel that it is difficult to do it yourself from the beginning, consult with someone and think about the extent to which you can negotiate and the extent to which you can ask others for support. Third, keep your distance . If you feel that it is difficult to continue a good relationship even if you “negotiate” or “consult,” you may not have to try harder. If possible, consider reducing your interactions with others to reduce your own stress. If you look away, you may be able to see the tricks of how to interact with the other person.
In this way, when you feel uncomfortable with someone else’s words and actions, instead of blaming them or just putting up with them, you should think, “The discomfort you feel is caused by the difference in values between you and the other person.” It may be something,” and try to admit (understand) it. On top of that, I think it is important to adjust human relationships through the above three actions.