Middle age and menopause in your 40s and 50s is a time when your mind tends to become unstable. It seems that there are quite a few people who turn their frustration on someone close to them and regret it. In this article, we will discuss the irritability that middle-aged and menopausal wives tend to feel toward their husbands, the emotional background that makes them think that their husbands are out of control, and three ways to think about how to maintain a marital relationship.
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Irritation of menopause……Stress that middle-aged to menopausal women are likely to have
As I explained in ” Mid-life crisis” that hits people in their 40s , middle age and menopause are times when the mind tends to become unstable.
Fatigue due to aging, changes in marital relationships, difficulties in interacting with growing children, concerns about elderly parents and nursing care issues, anxiety about family finances and money, confusion due to changes in work roles, etc. I face a lot of stress, and each time I sigh more and more.
In addition, it is not uncommon for people to lose sight of their life goals as they lose sight of what they valued in their 20s and 30s.
As stress increases, so does irritability. In the case of a wife who has her own family, she may take out her frustration on her husband who is close to her, and she may regret that “she wants to be more gentle…” .
Husband’s NG words, actions, and attitudes that amplify wife’s frustration
However, the wife does not take out her frustration on her husband for no reason. In the background of that emotion, you can also see her husband’s words and actions that ignite her anger.
From what I hear in counseling, I feel that many wives worry that they become irritated by their husband’s behavior like the following. ・They use rough or
demeaning words. ・They
take the attitude that it is only natural for the wife to do the housework
‘re tired and resting, you’re tired and you’re taking a rest
. However, when stress builds up, even the smallest things can become overwhelming, and you may find yourself getting frustrated.
Even though it’s not an eighth hit, the relationship may deteriorate… 3 tips to maintain the marital relationship
Then, how can you treat your husband calmly without amplifying the frustration of middle age and menopause? In order to get through this period with even a little bit of positivity, I would like to give you the following three tips on how to think.
1) On the premise that what is “natural” for you is not
“natural” for her husband. . For example, how to dispose of garbage, how to fold laundry, and how to clean. There are people who are particular about the details, and there are people who are satisfied with the basics as long as they are able to do it all.
Don’t assume that what you think is “obvious” is what your husband thinks too. If you think, “It’s natural to do this and think this way, why don’t you do it?”
2) Count “things you can do” instead of “things you can’t do”
Couples tend to expect each other to “do this”. As a result, they are often disappointed, saying, “I didn’t get what I expected.” There is no end to counting “things you don’t do”. It can be easier if you know in advance that they are less likely to do what you expect them to do.
On the other hand, while living together, the number of things my husband has become able to do has increased. He started collecting garbage without me telling him. I started to think a little more about the household budget. I started putting away the dishes after eating. In this way, compared to a few years ago, let’s check if there are more things you can do in your daily life.
3) Concretely tell
“what you want me to do” and “what you don’t want me to do” If you just expect that “my husband will notice my feelings someday”, the opportunity may not come forever. I can’t. Even couples who live together every day feel and think differently.
If you don’t express your hope in words, the other person won’t be able to understand you. Concretely tell your husband what you want him to do and what you don’t want him to do. It’s not easy to convey in one time. Say it in words and repeat it over and over again.
Frustration is a barometer to notice the state of mind and body. it’s time for her to take care of herself
I think that everyone can be generous with others when things are going well. On the other hand, when stress builds up and your mental and physical conditions become unstable, you are more likely to notice the unpleasant behavior of people close to you (often your husband).
If you find yourself becoming more and more frustrated with her husband, think of it as a time to look back and say, “Maybe I’m tired” or “Maybe I’m stressed out.” Take care of yourself and maintain your mind and body by taking a good rest and taking in distractions.