When things don’t go well, repeat self-centered thinking such as “I’m not at fault. It’s XX’s fault that this happened!” If you are, you will not be able to socialize well, and it will be easier for you to feel the difficulty of living in society. Here are some tips for rethinking self-centered and blaming habits, thoughts, and actions.
Is it someone else’s fault that I’m not doing well? Is society bad?
When things go wrong, you can make yourself feel a little better by thinking, “It’s not necessarily my fault.” That’s one way to do it, but if you’re always thinking, “This is what happened because of XX,” you’ll become dissatisfied, and you won’t be able to think rationally in line with reality.
Self-centered thinking is a shield that protects you from stress. If you can think, “I’m not at fault. Other people and society are at fault,” then you don’t have to think, “I’m responsible, too.” However, if this way of thinking is too strong, various adverse effects will occur.
One is to look down on others. If this continues, it becomes difficult to cooperate with others, and you may treat others with an arrogant attitude. As a result, it becomes difficult for them to develop the ability to work as a team and to share their difficulties with their colleagues, making it difficult to develop the ability to adapt to society.
Also, if you have a self-centered mindset, you will be more dissatisfied with the environment such as school and work. Some people may find it painful to interact with people or go out because they believe that things are not going well because of the people around them.
Read Also: Psychological risks hidden in “adult-looking children”
One of the opportunities for me to change myself: learning listening skills and facilitation
If you want to change yourself, one way is to adopt a different communication method than before.
Listening carefully to what other people have to say can help you re-evaluate yourselfFor example, try to increase your experience of understanding and accepting the diversity of other people’s emotions and ways of thinking. One of them is to learn “listening method” and “facilitation”.
Listening method is a one-to-one communication technique that listens carefully to what the other person is saying and snuggles up to the other person’s feelings. Facilitation is a group communication technique that coordinates group participants to help each other.
By experiencing one-on-one conversations or group conversations during work, you will develop the habit of listening to others, accepting and understanding diverse ideas. If you continue, you will be able to look back on your thoughts and behavioral tendencies.
What people around you can do for people who blame others 1. Deepen understanding through repeated conversations
If you have family members or friends who you think are self-centered, how can you get involved? One way to start is by telling them how you feel when they use words and behave.
For example, you can say, “I get hurt when people say XX. I’m easy to accept when you say XX.” Don’t give up and keep telling them, even if they don’t listen to you honestly by saying things like, “I’m not at fault, maybe you feel that way on your own.” Then, I think that the person will eventually become aware of their own way of thinking, communication tendencies, and their influence.
What people can do to blame people 2. Don’t give too much support
In addition to doing things for yourself, let’s encourage them to do what they can for the people around them.However, it is also important not to give too much support. You will also need to be able to think and act on your own as much as possible.
For example, while living with their parents, it might be a good idea to start by encouraging them to at least take care of themselves and do what they can for the family they live with. Hmm.
For example, clean up after you eat. Let’s add it there, think about what more we can do, and encourage them to do it. Even a quick sweep of the kitchen sink after you wash your own dishes can help your family tremendously. In this way, I think that if you practice what you can do for others in addition to yourself, you will develop a feeling of consideration for others in your heart.
Continuing self-centered thinking and behavior will increase friction with others and increase the opportunities to feel the difficulty of living. In order to live a long life with as much comfort as possible, I think it would be a good idea to review the trends in your way of thinking and make improvements starting with what you can do.