It is easy to become angry from a small “iratsu”… If you don’t want to be irritated or want to suppress your irritability, it’s important to first get away from the cause and then change your behavior. I will explain how to deal with frustration and how to suppress frustration.
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I don’t want to be annoyed! What is the psychology that a small “frustration” develops into anger?
Anyone can get frustrated even though they don’t want to get angry. If you think about it calmly, many people know that being irritated is only a disadvantage.
- Frustration fills your head and wastes precious time
- When you’re irritated, your thoughts become negative, and mean thoughts come to mind one after another.
- I take out my frustrated feelings on other people, get into fights and get even more frustrated…
For example, when you’re preparing a meal, it would be frustrating for anyone to drop and smash the finished egg. These things often happen in everyday life. The trigger is a very small “annoyance”, but if you keep thinking about things in that state, your thoughts will become more and more negative as shown below.
・”I thought it was finally finished, but it’s ruined! I have to wipe the floor and it’s a lot of work.
” I’m just here.” ( Growing out of dissatisfaction)
→ “No one says a single kind word. Why am I the only one who is having such a hard time!”
Have you ever had a bad experience? When he took out his last anger on his family, he was criticized, saying, “I wasn’t the one who dropped the egg, so why should I be attacked?” It’s going to take.
Explosions of frustration at work can lead to “power harassment”!
The same is true at work. For example, there must be many people who have had the frustrating experience of asking their juniors to do the work of preparing documents but not completing it by the deadline. In such a case, the emotions may flow as follows. ・”You don’t seem to be busy
, but why can’t you finish it by the deadline? ” Young people are just waiting for instructions.I can’t really use it!” (Infuriated) If you throw your last feelings at juniors and people around you, you may be perceived as “power harassment” and you may be criticized.
Approach when you want to suppress frustration… The important thing is the order of “action → thought”
If you don’t want to get frustrated, or want to control your frustration, I recommend changing your behavior first and then approaching your thoughts. Try the following two methods.
1. Approach to action
Get away from the situation. Do something that distracts you, such as having a cup of tea in a different place, walking around, taking a deep breath, listening to music, or watching a short comedy video. You can take your attention away from the source of your irritation and cool your boiling head.
2. Approach to Thinking
After you have calmed down, think about how to deal with it. It is to accept the fact that “this kind of thing happens” and do what you can do now.
To use the previous example, if a junior is frustrated because he didn’t meet the deadline, you should say, “Is my communication wrong, or is he not understanding enough? Let’s discuss why we didn’t meet the deadline.” Analyze the cause and discuss it with your partner. This leads to reasonable solutions.
Is it because you’re impatient that you get irritated? For those who worry about themselves who get angry easily
Also, if you can’t control your frustration, think about the following two things before you worry.
the ‘going wrong’ ‘going wrong’ happens to everyone, and it’s something you can’t do anything about. Let’s do what we can do now, thinking that it can’t be helped to get frustrated there.
2. Are you carrying too much “baggage”? If you have too
many roles or multiple tasks, it’s easy to get frustrated and angry with multiple things at the same time. The solution is simple. Pack less. Try things like delegating things to others, politely saying no, or not thinking you don’t have to do it perfectly.
Many middle-aged and elderly people get frustrated because they can’t keep up and carry too much baggage
By the way, when middle-aged and elderly people are irritated, they may be viewed with heartless prejudice, such as “because of their age.”
In middle age, there are many people who carry a lot of “baggage” such as being a manager at work, a director of community activities, and taking care of their elderly parents while raising children. Share your work, discuss things with others, and lighten your load.
In the old age, there are many “things that can’t be done” that you encounter for the first time. Life after retirement, illness outbreaks, physical breakdowns, life changes, and so on. It’s a pain, but let’s accept them and do what we can do now. It is important not to look coldly at those around you, but to support them.
There are limits to self-care alone. Cherish people who accept your feelings
And ideally, having someone to take your frustration out of you will calm you down. Words such as “It was a pity” and “I can’t finish it” save people from frustration. If someone says this to you, please take it seriously.
You can’t stop the emotions that come naturally. Both of you are frustrated. It is important to create a healthy relationship with each other by accepting each other’s feelings when you are frustrated.