The 50s are the age of trials. Women in particular are at an age when they are prone to feeling tired and empty due to many challenges such as menopause, anxiety about aging, empty nest syndrome, and changes in relationships with friends and family. What kind of mindset do you need to get through your 50s? Here are some tips for living well in your 50s and beyond.
“Mid-life crisis” for women in their 50s, what is the pain unique to middle-aged women?
Until a while ago, the “midlife crisis” was said to be a theme for people in their 40s, but in recent years, due to the intertwining of various social and psychological factors, it is people in their 50s who actually feel the “midlife crisis.” It is said to be an easy generation.
4 factors that put women in their 50s in a ‘midlife crisis’
Many of the causes of the “midlife crisis” are common to both men and women, but women in their 50s in recent years are considered to be particularly susceptible to the following four factors, which make them more likely to lose their mental balance.
1. Drastic Decrease in Female Hormones, Loss of Youth, and Anxiety about Aging
From the late 40s, female hormones (estrogen) decrease sharply, and many women experience menopausal disorders. In addition to physical symptoms such as hot flashes, coldness, and fatigue, mental symptoms such as impatience, anxiety, anger, and depression are likely to occur, and the 50s are an age where both body and mind are easily shaken.
Declining estrogen also has a dramatic effect on changes in appearance. The skin loses its firmness and transparency, and you start to feel aging day by day. Losing your youthful appearance is a great loss. As we age, we tend to lose muscle strength and accumulate fat due to a decline in metabolism.
2. Empty Nest Syndrome and Loss of Sight of Life Goals
Many female children in their 50s have grown from junior high school students to adults, and it is about time that their roles as mothers come to an end. Women who have devoted a lot of energy to raising children are more likely to experience “empty nest syndrome,” the emptiness of losing their role as mothers as their children leave their parents. Not a few people spend their days in a daze, unable to find a substitute for their passion for child-rearing, wondering, “What have I been working so hard for?”
3. Lack of empathy with female friends, miscommunication with partners
As I mentioned in 1 to 3, people in their 50s face many anxieties, but even when they talk to their friends about it, they tend to feel inadequate. Female friends and mom friends who were once close friends will be in their 50s, with different lifestyles and different career paths for their children. On the other hand, even when I talk to my partner, I often feel the difference in perspectives and values due to being of the opposite sex, and I may feel loneliness that is not sympathetic. Thus, many people in their 50s feel lonely even though they have friends and family.
4. From raising children to nursing care, from home to work… A major shift
in daily activities In your 50s, the axis of your daily activities will change significantly. Household concerns shift from raising children to husbands’ health and caring for parents, and the number of days spent visiting parents’ homes to help take care of their parents increases. It is also a time when the axis of daily activities changes significantly, such as full-time housewives starting to work to prepare for their children’s school fees, and working housewives quitting their jobs and starting to work at home. When life changes drastically, it consumes a lot of mental and physical energy to respond to the change.
“No way!” shock triggers “midlife crisis”
As with the four factors introduced above, in your 50s, many changes come at once, from your physical condition to your relationship with your family, making it easy to accumulate stress. In addition, there are more problems at home, such as worries about money in old age, worries about children’s entrance exams and employment, so you can’t be as optimistic as you were when you were young, and you spend more time thinking. is.
Sometimes these changes take a long time to come to terms with, and sometimes they come to a sudden realization and shock. In the latter case, we are confused because we are suddenly confronted with what we have already lost or changed. Many “midlife crises” are caused by this “no way!” shock.
No matter how hard you try to get things back to the way they were, or how hard you try to rebuild relationships, it’s hard to undo what has changed over time.
Don’t worry, “now is the bottom”! U-curve makes life fun again
But don’t worry too much. It is natural that our condition, relationships with people around us, and the way we live our daily lives change with age. Embracing change and living with the flow of change, rather than rushing to undo it, is the key to overcoming the “midlife crisis.”
We suffer from a “midlife crisis” because we cling to what we have lost with age. Let go of that attachment first. “When you reach your 50s, you feel old every day. You can’t be the same as in your 40s.” If you do, you will feel a little more comfortable, and you will feel the desire to adapt to the challenges of your age.
“Give up” is not always a negative word. “Give up” can be rewritten as “clear”. In other words, by “giving up” your attachment to what you have lost, you will “clarify” your way of life and what you should be working on in the future .
Multiple international surveys also show that life satisfaction is lowest for people around the age of 50, but it starts to rise again from the late 50s (*1). A domestic survey also shows that the sense of fulfillment in life is low among people in their 50s, and that it rises from their 60s (*2). By embracing and acknowledging the challenges we face in our 50s and letting go of our obsessions, life can begin to feel joyful and fulfilling again.
If you are in your 50s and are surrounded by painful, painful, anxious, and painful feelings, please chant repeatedly , “It’s okay, I’m at the bottom of my life now. Life is getting better with a U-shaped curve!” . By the time those words permeate your heart, you will surely find a way out of your suffering.