How to control anger towards your partner


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How to control anger towards your partner

 It is not uncommon to hear that before menstruation, you often get frustrated with your partner. Poor physical condition called “PMS (premenstrual syndrome)” may have an influence, but first of all, I want to be able to control my emotions well for myself. Learn how to deal with premenstrual cravings.

I can’t stop being irritated before my period.

I get irritated and bump into people and things, and say bad things about others… When I receive this kind of consultation from a woman in counseling, I ask when the frustration occurs. If it happens before your period, it could be due to PMS (Premenstrual Syndrome).

PMS is a disorder caused by changes in the balance of female hormones before menstruation. It is characterized by mental and physical changes such as headache, chest tightness, swelling, irritability, impatience, and depression. It is important not to overdo it before menstruation, as it will be lightened once menstruation begins.

However, there are many people who are more irritated than usual due to stress such as work, housework, and relationship problems during this premenstrual period, and they hit their partners close to them. This time, I would like to tell you about how to control anger before menstruation (PMS period) to maintain a good relationship with your partner.

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Too ignorant about premenstrual disorders! Reasons to irritate your partner

What I often hear in counseling is frustration with my partner’s heartless behavior about premenstrual disorders.

Irritated by a word you don’t understand,
even though you’re not feeling well and you’re resting, your partner gives you unnecessary advice, such as “It’s bad for your health if you sleep all the time” or “You should exercise to get rid of it.” case to do. There are quite a few people who are deeply disappointed and angry at being told such irresponsible words even though they are physically and mentally exhausted, saying, “I don’t understand anything about women’s bodies.”

■Irritated by attitudes that don’t
take care of your pain A case where you have to do most of the cooking, laundry, and cleaning by yourself, even though your body is in pain, they won’t help you with housework. In addition, the partner only knows that it is difficult to conceive before menstruation, and pushes her sexual desire unilaterally. There are also voices saying that they do not feel compassion for such behavior and are angry.

It’s understandable to be frustrated when your partner behaves like this. Originally, it is necessary for men to understand women’s physical conditions and treat them with care, but unfortunately, in many cases, women do not understand them as they would like. That said, it’s important to learn how to manage your anger so that you don’t get caught up in anger and feel uncomfortable, or if you keep getting into fights and the relationship deteriorates.

How to control anger before menstruation……For couples

Even if your partner’s words and actions are the trigger for irritation, just throwing out your anger as it is will only make the relationship worse and will not benefit you or your partner. Therefore, it is important to learn how to manage your anger on a regular basis.

1. Hug yourself and take a deep breath
when you’re irritated. When this happens, hug yourself with your hands, close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths. If you take care of yourself gently, you will feel a little calmer.

2. Don’t immediately express your emotions, and once you leave the place
When you get angry at the other person’s attitude, if you immediately express your anger, you will regret saying, “Why did I say that?” . To avoid this repetition, put aside a cushion before venting your anger. When I get angry, I go to the bathroom and go outside to get some fresh air. Once you leave the place, you can change your mood well.

3. When the anger subsides, convey the three messages
. Let’s communicate your thoughts after the anger has subsided and calmed down. At that time, it will be easier to convey to the other party if you include three messages: “(1) your condition”, “(2) what you do not want”, and “(3) what you want”.

For example, “(1) I get tired very easily before my period. (2) So don’t tell me ‘Don’t laze around.’ (3) I want to rest as much as possible.” (2) So please forgive me if I’m half-finished with housework. If you clearly convey these three messages, your partner will be able to understand what your partner is struggling with and what you want them to do, and it will be easier for them to accept your wishes.

4. Appreciate what your
partner has done for you. is easier to recruit. Even if the number is small, there must be something that you have done for your wife.

Focus on what the other person thought of you, such as “(Even if it was ‘finally’) they understood my feelings” or “(Even if the work was not very good) they helped me with the housework.” , Let’s convey words of gratitude such as “I’m happy” and “I’m saved”. This will make it easier for your partner to feel a sense of gratitude.

Practice Anger Control Techniques When You’re Frustrated

People who unintentionally get frustrated may have a pattern of behavior of “empowering others”. In that case, please try to remember the four anger control methods above.

It’s hard to defend against the onset of irritability. But you can control your actions so that you don’t let your emotions run wild. In order to deal with premenstrual irritation well, please practice the above four anger control methods.